Question 8a: How Settled Do You Feel in Your Country?

Thursday was the National Day of Sweden and since 2005 it's also a public holiday. So what? I thought. It just felt like another Saturday, an opportunity to get out of town and into nature. I felt no desire to run around waving a flag. To be proud of a country is quite artificial. Just because you were born somewhere you can't give yourself credit for that country's goodness or whatever. And feeling ashamed of a country doesn't feel relevant either unless you're part of the government.

The reason for celebrating the National Day is that 6 June is the date when Gustav Vasa was made King and Sweden became independent. England doesn't have an official National Day, but some people celebrate St George's Day 23 April in the memory of the patron saint's death date. How exciting.

To feel settled in a particular country is a different question. You often feel at home in a country just because you're used to a certain culture. And sometimes you can feel at home in another country without knowing why. Maybe because you like the food or the climate or the people.

Most of the Swedes (13 of 15), who were all born in Sweden, said they felt very settled, and even though they sometimes longed to move abroad they didn't want to leave Sweden for good. Here are some of the answers that stood out:

"I'm not 100% settled ... If I get to travel now and again I enjoy it very much, but if I stay in Sweden for too long it gets boring. It's just that I really want to experience other cultures."

"I find it quite easy to feel settled, if I stay somewhere for more than three months I feel at home."

"I'm very settled ... I almost think it would be a good thing, not feeling so settled. There's so much you feel secure with here, it's hard to build up that in another country."

Of the people in England, where 6 was born outside of England or hade parents from other cultures, there were 9 of 15 who felt very settled, and of the 6 people with other origin than British, there were as many as 3 who felt very settled. The people who felt the least settled were the ones who had travelled a lot. Here are the answers that stood out from England:

"I'm pretty settled after I've decided not to travel so much. I've limited myself to only travel for a month at a time; I've made more roots here now, I'm not in a hurry to move to another country." 

"I'm never settled, if someone gave me the opportunity to move outside of the UK, I'd definitely think hard about it."

"I have fantasies of going abroad. A fortune teller once told me that I will live and die in another country and it makes me happy thinking of that."

This study is by no means scientific, the answers are based on interviewing 15 people in England and 15 people in Sweden, aged 22-59. Look out for the next question: How settled do you feel in your city?

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Question 7: How did you end up where you live now?

This is the view from The Attic where I live right now. How did I end up here? Would you like to hear the short or the long story?

Question 7 wasn't an easy question. Sometimes I had to limit my question from country to city to flat/house. It would take up too much space publishing all the answers; besides it would be hard for the project people to remain anonymous. 

What surprised me though was that a lot of the people had ended up in their current location because of love. People hade either moved somewhere because of a partner, moved in with a partner or had wanted to get away from a partner. The second most popular reason for ending up somewhere was university studies or other studies. Other reasons were work, money, homesickness, a longing for nature and a desire to have a place of one's own.

Yesterday, I reluctantly changed my "current location" on Facebook from Brighton to Gothenburg (Göteborg). I still find it hard to accept that I actually don't live in England at the moment. It's not like I've made a final decision, but I'll stay in Sweden at least until January. So how did I end up here then?

Short story: Midlife crisis ("30-year-old-crisis" in Swedish)
Long story: I did a project that involved staying with 30 different people (15 in England and 15 in Sweden) during 30 weeks and I asked each person 30 question, hoping that their answers would help me work out what to do with my own life. One of the things that I worked out was that I wanted to try university studies. And when you just want to try something it's a big advantage when education is free which is the case in Sweden. Of all the places I visited in Sweden I liked Umeå (in the North) and Gothenburg (on the West coast) best. The reason I chose the later was mainly due to the location. Closer to home. Both to Brighton and to the forests of my hometown. The reasons for ending up in The Attic are private.

This study is by no means scientific, the answers are based on interviewing 15 people in England and 15 people in Sweden, age 22-59. Look out for the next question: How settled do you feel in your country/town/neighbourhood/flat or house?

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Question 6c: What's Your Favourite Word or Expression?

I asked all the people I stayed with during Swenglish if they had a favourite word or expression. There's a big difference between a word and an expression because an expression can sometimes also work as a motto, but most people chose to answer with just one word. And some people didn't have an answer. I've chosen to keep the Swedish words in, very useful words to know if you ever plan on visiting Sweden!

FAVOURITE WORDS/EXPRESSION BY PEOPLE IN ENGLAND:

Panoply, Ruffle (" I like the sound of them.")

Bof! (French. "I like things you can’t translate. The French communicate a lot without speaking, with sounds and shrugs .” )

Indigo

Silver (”In a poem I have to be careful to put it in, so I don’t always use it.”)

Think less, do more. (“ Although I think a lot, keeping busy has been really good for me.” )

Chthonic (From Greek mythology = of or relating to the underworld    )

You live and learn, but in my case you live.

Swirlingly (The person who said this word thinks she has invented it herself.)

Amazing (“And Awesome, but that's a Kiwi-thing.”)

It’s like Picadilly Circus in here.

Heirloom ("It sounds so nice, a word in its own right, it’s not part of any expression.”)

”Apparently the fave word of Brits is Serendipity, but I'd say ’Somewhat’ – I'd rather that be my favourite word.’

FAVOURITE WORDS/EXPRESSION BY PEOPLE IN SWEDEN::

D’accord (”Okay” or agreeing to something in French.)

Verkligen, Väldigt (= Really, Very. ”When I write school stuff I want to add words that aren't very suitable for academic writing …”)

Nu knullar det i munnen. (= Now it's fucking in the mouth. Said about very tasty food.)

Neo (”The name of my cousin's child. At the moment I notice people's names. If you've got a name you've got an identity.")

Amazing, Laila tov (= Goodnight in Hebrew.)

He (= Put, a word from the North of Sweden.)

Fantastiskt, Enastående Ljuvligt (= Fantastic, Astonishing, Lovely. ”I use a lot of expletives, for example ’det var helt sinnessjukt’ = 'that was totally insane". That's part of how I express myself.”)

Horisont (= Horizon ”I find it so pretty, unattainable, but still new ... Well, I don't know, I'm just talking bullshit.”)

Merde (”Fuck it” in French.)

Fair enough (”As my English teacher used to say all the time.”)

Vidrig (= Obnoxious, Disgusting. ”Then it's really bad. I saw that someone described some food as "vidrig", but if you use it too much it loses its meaning.”)

Det ordnar sig alltid. Allt löser sig. (= It will always work out. Everything will work out.)

Rövelen! (Untranslateable! Something you say when you're angry, but with a sense of humour)

Kanon! (= Great! it does not mean cannon!)

YOUR FAVOURITE WORD?

I find it exciting that some of the participants choose French words or other words that weren't their mother-tongue. Some people picked words because of the meaning, others because they liked the sound of them. I like words beginning with v: verkligen (=really), viadukt (=viaduct), vemod (= sadness, melancholy). And I actually really like the word really. What's your favourite word or expression?

This study is by no means scientific, the answers are based on interviewing 15 people in England and 15 fifteen people in Sweden, age 22-59. Look out for the next question: How did you end up where you live now?

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Spring Flowers and Spring Scream

I haven't spent spring in Sweden for the past ten years.
I've really missed hepatica/liverleaf, wood anemones and  coltsfoot. 

One Swedish person I stayed with during Swenglish, who had lived abroad for many years, moved back home because she missed "her stone and her water"
and that's a bit what I felt, even though you can't own a flower.

You can find wood anemones and coltsfoot in England too,
but as I spent most of my time in the city, I never came across them.
Now I'm out in the forest picking flowers every other day.
In Småland you're allowed to pick the hepaticas/liverleaf, but in some areas of Sweden they are protected.

And after I'd watched one of my favourite films  Ronia - The Robber's Daughter 
I felt inspired to do a spring scream
- dressed up as Pippi Longstocking!

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The Making of Swenglish - the Documentary

For a whole week I've been followed by a film maker from Brighton. So now I've gained a greater understanding for how the participants in the Swenglish project felt when I invaded their lives. To have someone who's always there, observing every step you take is both exciting and exhausting. 

Adriana Sabau has previously worked for a TV company in Romania, made music videos for English bands and now she's working with Sean Creed for Brighton & Hove Community TV.

Apart from interviewing me and some of the people I stayed with during the project, she filmed Swedish environments in Stockholm as well as Småland. Everything from Västerbron ("The Western Bridge") to the last bit of snow that was left in the outskirts of Nässjö. 

In the English part of the documentary, Adriana filmed me when I had English breakfast and Sunday roast. Here in Sweden she filmed "Swedish" pizza, Swedish cheesecake and pytt i panna ("bits in a pan").

Other highlights included filming elks at Skansen Zoo (we weren't patient enough to wait them out in the forest) and partying in the City Hall of Stockholm - something that is normally reserved for Nobel Prize Winners, but we were lucky to be there for Culture Night.

There are 15 hours of film if you add up the English and Swedish part .... I'm looking forward to see the result that will be a 50 minute long documentary.

Photo 1 & 3: Daniel Halvardsson

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Question 6b: How does it affect you if people make language mistakes?

8 of the 15 people I stayed with in Sweden are "language police" which is a common expression in Swedish for someone who gets annoyed if people use the language in the wrong way.

But only 4 of the 15 people i stayed with in England are bothered about mistakes.

What the "language police" in Sweden said:

"I'm a bit of a language snob unfortunately. I get anxious if I've sent a text with spelling mistakes and can't take it back. I can also get turned off if a guy writes a sloppy text."

"I notice how language is used and if it's not used according to the norm I react. If someone makes a mistake on Facebook I'll write an ironic comment. It's fun to take the piss. I also have this obsession if someone writes an exclamation mark or put dots at the end of a sentence I have to count the exclamation marks or dots."

"If someone makes spelling mistakes, I think they're stupid. Or if they split a compound word ... Then I can't be their friend. I'm very honest, I feel bad if I've spelt something wrong."

What the "language police" in England said:

"I do notice when people make mistakes. I immediately wonder how educated they are, what class they are, it’s terrible."

"I’m a bit of a pedant when it comes to written English, partly being a teacher. Whenever I read I pick up mistakes, I'm an unpaid proof-reader."

"I’m quit sensitive to people who make mistakes and I correct them. Especially English people" (said by Swede in England.)

And there are some English language rebels:

"I like the damage of language and how new things develop. That "google" * can be used as a verb and people using “literally” in the wrong way."

"I’m not bothered at all. Languages are evolving. Without changes there’s no revolution. If you’re strict about language it’ll never change. There wouldn’t be words like "LOL"."

What I say:

I think the language police exists to a bigger extent in Sweden because Swedish is such a small language and hasn't been as influenced by other cultures. Both Swedish people and English people are tolerant if foreigners make mistakes though. The biggest case for the language police in Sweden is the splitting of compound words, e.g. in English you would write "police station" - in Swedish you world write "policestation".

I really don't care about language mistakes. After having lived in England for many years I now struggle with both English and Swedish! My English will never be perfect and I've lost some of my Swedish from living abroad. When I was interviewed on telly about my novel I kind of spoke English in Swedish. I said that I was from a small town. In Swedish you'd say "I'm from a smalltown".

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*Although the Swedish invention "ungoogleable" was disliked by Google!

 The picture is from Matilda's blog and is hard to translate, but can possibly be compared to the language difference between "You and I" or "You and me".

This study is by no means scientific, the answers to this question are based on interviews with 15 people in England and 15 people Sweden, aged 22-59. Next question: What's your favourite word?

Thoughts after having finished the Swenglish project

Filmed and edited by Adriana Sabau

Interview made by Sean Creed

In 2012 novelist and performance poet Louise Halvardsson turned 30, but instead of throwing a big party, she embarked on a journey through everyday life of people in England and Sweden. She stayed with 30 different people during 30 weeks and asked each person 30 questions about nothing and everything all at once.

But she didn’t just stay with those people – she actually tried to live their lives, shadowing them at work as well as at play. The aim was to write a book about cultural differences, but in the end it turned out to be more of a personal quest – whether to settle in England or Sweden. At the time of the interview the author was yet to make her decision.

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Swedish Easter Traditions

We import Cadbury's Creme Eggs as you can't find them in Sweden.

We eat the same food as you do at Christmas - "prinskorv" (prince sausage), "köttbullar" (meat balls) and "Janssons Frestelse" (Janson's temptation - potato casserole with anchovies).

Veggie options available. Hence one potato thing without the fish.

We throw out the Christmas Tree. 

From the song "Julen varar än till påska." (Christmas lasts until Easter)

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I know it's April's Fool today, but this is what actually happened. At least in my family ... If only the snow was a real joke!

Question 6a: What does language mean to you?

The best thing I have and know of. I hear language in colours. It’s a system of noises.

Communication. That’s the word most people mentioned. In general the people in England found it a very difficult, abstract question to answer. But once they answered they gave thoughtful answers about colours and sounds. The Swedes found it easier to talk about language. My theory is that this is due to English people often being able to speak their language when they go abroad, but Swedish people are forced to speak another language (read English) as soon as they leave Scandinavia.

WHAT LANGUAGE MEANS TO PEOPLE IN ENGLAND:

“I like it when foreigners speak, their different ways of constructing a sentence. I adore the sound of another language. But I feel alienated if I hear a lot of foreign languages on a bus, and long to hear English.”

“It allows me to communicate. I’m lucky to be born in Britain, the international language for travelling, it’s horrible to say but it’s the best language to know. You can go anywhere and do anything.”

“I like to know grammatical structure. I don’t like being in a country, not being able to speak to the people, I’d like to break the tradition of English people thinking that everyone knows English.”

“Communication. I like playing with language when I write, I like changing it, describing things in a way you normally wouldn’t.”

“I went on date and went round to his house and he had the telly on the whole time, saying he wasn’t a good conversationalist, so language is really important to communicate.”

“It represents communication, keeping in contact with people.”

“I hear language in colours, when people speak, I see it in bits of colour.”

“It’s a system of noises. If we decided not to speak we would develop a sign language. We have to accept evolution of language, developing sounds to mean something.”

“It’s a variation of what chimpanzees do, but a bit more elaborate than that. Another part of me loves it when it’s used well, like a drama that has a good script. And I can sometimes use it in a way that entertains people.”

“It’s the main thing that gives my life meaning. I have a facility for learning language and that also goes into creative language.”

“Dialogue means a lot, I like to remember things, and quote them word by word.”

“It’s a source of fun and amusement, a constant hobby, definitely something I’m forever fascinated by. I love learning new words in other languages.”

“It gives you your cultural identity.”

“Sometimes it drives me mad and I want to get right away from it, get into music or painting or whatever, but it’s just essential to me. It’s like asking what blood or water means to you.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s a tool, it pre-exists us, it’s the air we breathe, the medium through which we spin. It gives a chance for everyone to be creative with it. It’s used in law, politics, government. Power can be played cause we can play with language, it’s a structure we can’t escape.”

WHAT LANGUAGE MEANS TO PEOPLE IN SWEDEN:

”There’s something special about your mother tongue, the language you can express yourself best in.”

”When you live in Sweden, I don’t think it means that much, but when you’re abroad it means much more. It’s nice to listen to Swedish songs and understand what they sing about. That you can actually communicate in a language that no one else knows where you are.”

”When I write poems I always return to Swedish. It’s easier to express complicated things. But song lyrics I find impossible to write in Swedish, everything sounds so naff in a way.”

”In my everyday life I seldom reflect over what language I speak. The times I’m aware of my relationship to language is when I write lyrics. I’ve chosen to write in English even though I’m better at Swedish. In Swedish the lyrics would be in your face and I don’t want the words to take that space.”

”It’s natural as you speak it and have it in yourself. But Swedish is a difficult language to learn. Many dialects, variations, influenced by other languages as well. It’s a good way of communicating with other Swedes, a very small language.”

”It’s an important tool, communication. I find dialects amusing. The language I speak is important, but then it doesn’t matter that much that it’s Swedish in particular. It’s exciting that Eskimos have so many words for snow, but no word for sun. And that “lagom” doesn’t really translate.”

”I’m so bad at other language so in that aspect, Swedish means a lot. I like reading and writing and argumentation and interpret words, to describe reality or distort reality with words.”

”Swedish is the only language I master. It means very much. I like the words, to write and use the language.”

”It means everything, it’s the best thing I have and know of. Whatever happens I can always write something.”

”It’s about understanding and being understood. I’m fascinating by the way people write, I love enjoying a book that just flows, it’s like seeing a painting or hearing music.”

”I don’t like translations, some words annoy me. Every language has its own sentence structure, it can’t really be translated. I’m often hit by Swedish authors – often it’s just the language that does it.”

”My feeling is that Swedish and English aren’t just different because they are different language, but the whole structure, how you express yourself and make your voice heard is very different. That creates one English identity and one Swedish identity.”

WHAT LANGUAGE MEANS TO ME:

Language is my life! I’m hyper aware of what words people use and it can annoy me to see or hear words I don’t like. Now that I’ve been in Sweden for a while I notice that I’m a bit more relaxed when I use the language. I don’t worry about making mistakes in the same way as I do when I’m in England. I feel less tense when I have conversations, because I don’t stop to think about if my accent sounds terrible. 

But as a contradiction I feel more shy in Swedish. In English I feel more cheeky, there’s more space for making a joke – often on my own behalf; I can get away with things because I’m Swedish. So there’s definitely such a thing as having one Swedish identity and one English identity.

This study is by no means scientific, the answers to this question are based on interviews with 15 people in England and 15 people Sweden, aged 22-59. Next question: Do you mind if people use the language incorrectly?

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Spring Equinox?

20 February, Brighton, England

20 March, Nässjö, Sweden

Guess where I want to live right now!

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Swenglish Poem, performed at Brighton Poetry Society

Filmed by Adriana Sabau, Brighton & Hove Community TV that is making a documentary about the Swenglish project.

On Saturday, 16 March, I'll take part in a poetry slam in Växjö, Sweden. 2pm at the library. Be there!

Week 2 Revisited - Beer Festival on International Women's Day

I remember International Women's Day from last year very well. Swenglish host number 2 (in England) took me to a beer festival at Hove Town Hall.

As part of your entry fee you got a glass and in that beaker you could be served pints, half-pints or a third of a pint. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The same hall where I had worked as a ballot steward at the local elections was now lined with beer and cider barrels. There was no music and all areas were brightly lit as if we were at a conference.

Arriving at six o’clock there were pre-dominantly men between 40 and 60, perhaps older, sipping their pints or halves or thirds, nodding knowingly, searching for the perfect brew: pale, bitter – or dry if they had cider. An organisation called CAMRA (Campaign for Real Ale) was behind the festival and was originally formed in the 70s by four men in the North who were disillusioned with the UK beer market.

A couple of hours later the know-it-alls had left and the crowd consisted of mainly 20 and 30-year-olds who drank just to get pissed even if sips were swapped and the occasionally comment about flavour slipped into the conversation. Most people seemed to pick their pint by name: Kama Citra, Snake Slayer and Nightmare were only a few of the choices. Others looked out for the ales with the highest alcohol percentage.

To say that the beer festival was a male dominated event isn’t an exaggeration. There weren’t that many women in the room who gave their opinions on real ale. In England, as well as in Sweden, I’ve experienced that people (often the ones who are a bit older) have been surprised when I’ve wanted beer instead of wine or a drink at the pub. Times have changed, but the older generation still frown if a woman orders a pint. Once I went to an informal job meeting with a male colleague and the person we met up with asked what we wanted to drink. Pint of Harveys my colleague said, and I said that I wanted the same. The person who offered the drinks looked at me and said: half pint? As if I wasn’t allowed a full pint because I was a girl.

I’m not saying it’s a good thing that girls drink as much as guys nowadays, but it’s not fair to assume that a girl drinks a certain drink and a certain amount just because she’s a woman. And the same goes to say for guys. I’ve met men who towards the end of the night only wanted half a pint, but haven’t had the guts to order one because it’s not considered macho enough.

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Question 5: Where have you travelled?

Colombia. Vietnam. South Africa. Greece. Denmark.

The countries above are only a few examples of where the 30 people I stayed with had travelled. Based on the talks with my study subjects I've learnt that people in England and people in Sweden are equally well travelled. Everyone had travelled to at least another country in Europe. About half of the Swedish people and half of the English people had been outside Europe. Most of the participants were open to living abroad for shorter or longer periods of time, but not many would like to live abroad permanently.

It's not very interesting to make a list of all the countries you've visited. The interesting thing is what you've learnt from other cultures. A weekend break at a hotel doesn't give as much as staying with or spending time with local people.

Thanks to my Swenglish project I gained new insights even when staying with people in my hometown. I thought I knew everything about Swedish food culture, but I learnt that you can have bananas in your mince sauce and cheese on your pancakes. You can't read about that in the tourist catalogues. Maybe because it's not typical for Sweden. But I'm after what's not typical! Going to London and have tea is boring. But to get invited to a Londoner's home and have Turkisk coffee is exciting.

When I went to Barcelona for my 29th I felt stressed out running around photographing the sights I'd read about in my guidebook. Never again! The best about the Barcelona trip was talking to a couple of Spanish guys at my hostel. They lived just outside town but had chosen to stay at the hostel so they could have a night out in the city. After five minutes chatting I learnt more about Barcelona than I did from two days of sightseeing. 

There's a difference between holidaying and travelling. If you just want a holiday and relax it doesn't matter if you just see a hotel, a pool and some old church. But to really travel you have to spend time with the local people. Pretty obvious. Not always easy though ... 

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This study is by no means scientific, the answers are based on interviewing 15 people in England and 15 people in Sweden, aged 22-59. Look out for the next question: What does language mean to you?

Swenglish - A year later

On Tuesday I'll be 31 and then a year will have passed since I started my Swenglish journey.

Last year was the most eventful and adventurous years in my life. I learnt so much from staying with 30 different people during 30 weeks. I've realised that there's no such thing as the perfect life. Everybody's got their own struggle. Some people want change. Others are quite happy.

"People often talk about being scared of change
But for me I'm more afraid of things staying the same
Cause the game is never won by standing in any one place for too long."

- Nick Cave, "Jesus of the Moon"

The personal purpose of my Swenglish project was to decide whether to live in England or Sweden. It's not that black and white anymore. I'm a person who's addicted to change, but maybe that will change too. Perhaps I don't want any change once I've found a life that I'm happy with. 

This week I'm visiting Brighton & Hove. It gives me a melancholy feeling, a bit like seeing an ex lover that you still have feelings for, but you know that things aren't right. At the moment. I haven't made a final decision. In fact I don't have a "real" life at the moment.

Next week I'll carry on living in the bubble I've lived in since I finished the project: staying in my parents' basement in my hometown, spending my days writing writing writing. The first draft of the Swenglish book is completed and I have a plan for the autumn. I'm not thinking more than 6-10 months ahead, like I've always had. So that hasn't changed.

And I still like Nick Cave. He's got a new album out. He lives in Brighton. I saw his car the other day.

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