Question 30b: What's your Biggest Dream?

Time for dreams. Walk from Brighton
to Rottingdean
during project week 7.

"When you stop dreamin' it's time to die" - Blind Melon

One reason why I embarked on the Swenglish journey was that I had stopped dreaming. I thought that I'd experienced everything that was worth experiencing in life. 

I longed for nothing. That's why I asked the 30 Swenglish participants about their dreams. In hope of new inspiration, visions and life joy.

What people in England dreamed about

“To find love again, to be capable of loving”

“More recognition of my work as a poet”

“Getting my books published. Having my own security, my own property”

“Living in a complete freedom. Not being dependent on the monetary system, being completely off the grid, having my own family that feel very supportive of each other”

“To always be really good at what I’m doing at the moment”

“To win an Oscar for a highly acclaimed film performance”

“To have money and be able to do creative things full time”

“To have a healthy family”

“To feel like I've done something worthwhile while I was on earth, to feel that wehn I do die I've done something that I'm really proud of”

“To win the Pulitzer Prize and go round the world on book tours”

“I just want to be happy, enjoying my work, my environment and my friends”

“Being well in my head”

“To have enough of a career to keep me safe. Carry on doing what I’m doing”

“To be in the body I want to be in, to be a really beautiful woman”

“To come to some kind of global situation where the whole human population realises that we're all interconnected and somehow get global politics to reflect that”

What people in Sweden dreamed about

“To create something that can affect another person, no matter if it's a record or a book”

“That my child will lead a happy life”

“Simply to feel happy, to somehow become a whole person”

“To live in a Västerbotten cottage, work as an archaeologist and for everything ot be hunky-dory”

“Being healthy and be able to travel a lot”

“That it will be peace and everyone's essential needs will be met ”

“To make music and put out records that people will love and be touched by for decades to come"

“That my children will have whole and healthy families"

“Writing a bestselling novell"

“To become a designer and work with what I want to do. And have a family"

“To move on within the union and that it goes well. Start writing again"

“To get rid of my back ache and that my mum gets rid of her back ache"

“That all violent conflicts would end"

“A holiday home abroad where you can live in winter"

“To be happily in love and that it's mutual"

Health, love and creative success

People are quite similar really. Many mostly wish for good health. Because if you don't feel well everything feels hard. A trivial conclusion that anyone could have come up with. But sometimes you (read I) need to be reminded.

And love is very important. But a traditional relationship with only one partner isn't the only love there is. During the project I realised how important friends are. Different friends. Many friends.

And then we have the creative success ... Of course it would be fantastic to write a bestseller. But that's no guarantee for happiness. Now, 2,5 years after I finished the Swenglish project, I still don't have any grand dreams. But I dream a bit everyday. About writing a really good poem. About being able to make my whole living from different writing jobs. About ... yes, to feel okay with just being me and not care about what other people think. Then it would be nice with peace on earth of course. I admire those Swenglish participants who looked outside themselves and dreamed about a better world for all people.

PÅ SVENSKA

This study is by no means scientific, the answers are based on interviewing 15 people in England and 15 people in Sweden, aged 22-59. This was the last questions, but I will still share my Swenglish thoughts on this blog now and again, so please come back!

Question 13a: How Different is Your Life Now Compared to What You Thought it Would Be Like When You Were Younger?

What I thought ...

When I was a teenager I thought that I would lead a "boring, stable life" when I was 30. That I would live in Jönköping (a smallish town near my hometown) in a flat that I owned together with a boyfriend and perhaps work at the local paper. In reality I wanted something different, but I found it difficult to point my finger on it.

Some kind of "rock 'n' roll-lifestyle" (as a metaphor for adventure, parties, travels, romances, writing and other artistic endeavours). And I did experience a lot of rock 'n' roll in my twenties even though it was more poetry than rock 'n' roll. I would never have guessed that I would be into Poetry Slam: I didn't even know what it was as a teenager. I would not have guessed that I would spend so many years in England either. Or that my first book would win a prize for the best debut novel. But then this "early mid-life crisis" hit me, the crisis that resulted in the Swenglish project. 

Rock 'n' roll is fun, but yet I yearned for a more stable life than the life I was leading when I approached my 30th birthday. I was fed up with being a constant lodger, moving around, doing day jobs, drinking too much beer, messing about and being far away from my family and my very very best friends. 

Now I'm renting my own flat in Gothenburg and am studying ethnology. It doesn't sound very rock 'n' roll. But the most important thing in my life is still my writing. The novels. The poetry. The performances. And I've started blogging for a local paper ... However, now and again a bit of rock 'n' roll happens (when I did a poetry gig in Gävle for example!), but the bottle of vodka that I got from an Englishman back in September is still untouched. That would never have happened ten years ago. 

What the Swenglish participants thought ... 

About half the people in Sweden and a bit more than half the people in England expressed that their lives were very or pretty different compared to the life they had envisioned when they were younger. Most of them, especially in England, had a better life than expected, but a few would have thought that they would be more successful in their jobs.

Six people (all above 30) thought that they would be parents by now. But there were also two people (above 30 as well) who were surprised about being parents at all.

Five people had not thought very much about the future when they were younger and had nothing to compare with. One participant expressed it in this way: "When I was a teenager I thought I would be dead when I was 27, everything after that becomes some strange bonus that I hadn't expected".

Seven people claimed that they had always followed their ideals, even though their lives looked different on the surface compared to what they had thought. Another person said: "I've made my life into the life I wanted it to be even though I couldn't express what I wanted". 

It's interesting to note that in some cases (my own case for example) there's a difference between how people thought it would turn out and how they wanted it to turn out.

This study is by no means scientific, the answers are based on interviewing 15 people in England and 15 people in Sweden, aged 22-59. Look out for the next question: How different is your life now compared to the life you would like to have?

PÅ SVENSKA

Question 12: Where Do You See Yourself in One, Five and Ten Years Time?

"Where do you see yourself in one, five or ten years time?" is a question that famous people often have to answer in interviews. Many of the Swenglish participants found it hard to look into the crystal ball ... ("It never turns out that way anyway.") I couldn't see any clear differences between England and Sweden when it came to future visions, so I've put the answers together. 

What's interesting to note is that 9 of the 30 people I stayed with have moved (or are about to move) since I stayed with them last year! Perhaps I set something in motion ...

In One Year

16 of 30 people thought that they would be living a similar life. However the majority of these people thought that they would have developed more workwise and most of the people who were into something creative hoped that they would have finished a book/a record/other creation.

6 of 30 people thought that they would have moved. Either to a place of their own or moving in with someone.

2 of 30 people thought that they would be trying for children.

3 of 30 people hoped that they would have found a partner.

In Five Years

Most people just wanted "more and better" of the same. Earn more money and work with what they really wanted to do instead of just doing a day job. Get more recognition for what they were good at. Someone wanted a more international life. Travel more. Some people mentioned buying a house. A couple mentioned kids or "more kids". 

In Ten Years

"I could be dead".

"If I haven't burnt out and am on sick leave I will have carried on with x and y and have specialised in some area."

"Then I've been married and am divorced".

Not everyone came up with "dark" answers. Once again many mentioned loving relationships and children and development in the area of their passion. One person didn't think of himself at all: he just thought about where the world was heading: "This civilisation is either gone or we will live in a completely different world".

9 of 30 mentioned that they wanted to live in a house and 7 of those 9 people wanted live in the countryside either with their family or in a community.

6 of 30 thought that they would live or work abroad or at least have a holiday home abroad. 

5 of 30 people hoped and thought that they would be more confident or have better self esteem. 

My Future Vision

In one years time my Swenglish book will be out in the shops, my English novel will be on its way too, I'm studying something, perhaps literature, psychology or anthroplogy and I'm doing performance poetry.

In five years time I'm working with several writing related projects, perhaps international somehow, and I'm madly in love in a good way.

In ten years time I'm laughing at the person I am today. And live I will. Close to nature. 

This study is by no means scientific, the answers are based on interviewing 15 people in England and 15 people in Sweden, aged 22-59. Look out for the next question: How different is your life now compared to how you thought it would be when you were younger?

PÅ SVENSKA